Inside her head

// Sam and Trinity have a heart to heart  //


An hour ago she had been fine. It had just been a regular afternoon with Sam and Dean picking up clues and Trinity napping on the bed.

But then things changed. She had woken up hungry. But she didn't want the crappy blood in the fridge.
No. She knew what she wanted. And she clenched her fists fighting herself on the inside. And it might have worked but Dean and Sam walked in early.

Sam stopped as the door closed and looked over at Trinity almost as if he could sense it. "You okay?" he asked and then he saw her stand up her teeth descending and she hissed "I'm hungry." she said gazing at him.

Dean came out now and in a calm tone said "Okay. Everybody calm down. Trinity its gonna be okay. Go back to the bed and I'll get you some blood alright?" he asked in a reasonable tone.

She moved fast and had her hand at his throat and Dean fought his own instincts because he knew it wasn't her fault. It wasn't Trinity talking. It was the hunger. It was controlling her.

"I'm surprised at you.....I thought you'd know better then to make a mistake like that." Dean said and she tilted her head "What mistake did I make?" she asked then gasped when her arm was grabbed and she was jerked back and slammed hard against the wall her arm was now pinned painfully behind her back. And she now realized her mistake.

Never turn your back on your brother. Especially if that brother was Sam Winchester.

"Let go of me...." she growled then winced when he pulled her back just enough to slam her back into the wall.

His voice held a threatening note when he said into her ear "Shut up Trinity! We tried doing this your way. But now, Now we're gonna do it MY way. If you have any problems with that you can just get over it! Right now your gonna go to that bed and if you even move wrong your NOT gonna like me. Do we understand each other?" he demanded not letting up until she hissed in pain then nodded and looked back at him sincerely.  "Alright. No tricks now." Sam warned then let her go and she just stayed there for a minute taking a breather then she lunged at him and he quickly had her by the throat and again had her pinned to the wall only this time it was her back against the wall and Sam really didn't look happy.

"Stop. Right now." he warned looking her in the eye.

She smiled at him "You can't strangle me. I don't breath."

"You will back the hell off right now and control yourself. And I'm not asking." He said though she could tell he was losing patience.

Her eyes softened and she whined "I'm hungry."

"You stay there and don't move and I'll get you some blood." he said pointed to the bed.

she looked at him pleadingly "I...I need more then the animal blood. I need it fresh and human." she said then she shoved him and ran for the door.

Sam now understood and recovered fast he reacted instantly taking out a dart gun he shot it twice knowing it took more then just one to knock out a vampire. She cried out when the darts hit her then fell on the ground not moving. Dean stared at Sam as Sam went over and picked up Trinity and carried her to the bed. "We're gonna have to lock her down until morning. " Sam said signaling Dean to give him the chains.

"Dude she shoved you." Dean said
"I know. I let my guard down. It won't happen again. " Sam vowed.
Dean knew he was right. Sam almost never made the same mistake twice.
"I'm sorry Sam. I didn't tell you this but at the time when you said you could control her I honestly thought it'd just be better to kill her. I thought it would be too much for you. That you were underestimating her. I was wrong. And I'll tell you something else Sam." Dean said and waited until Sam looked at him before continuing "She could have gone for us. She could have had us in seconds if she really tried. But she didn't. I think there's something different about her. She's not like the other vampires we've seen. They never showed signs of humanity." Dean said.

Sam stayed there to chain her up after Dean left. He knew Dean had a point. But Trinity had tasted his blood before. So it was better to chain her up before she tried something stupid. He had already told her once before that He wasn't doing it again that it was a one time thing.

Once she was secured to the bed Sam went to get some blood from the fridge and laid out a bag so that he could heat it up when she woke up.

An hour later Dean was messing around on his laptop looking up signs and other things that he had witnessed since Trinity changed.  Trinity began to wake and when she opened her eyes Sam sat on the bed by her and had a cup with a straw in it so that she could drink from the straw while he held the cup. She turned her head away "Noooo...I don't want that." she whined
Sam didn't budge "Your hungry. You know you are. Drink this or the pain is gonna come back." he said trying to remind her that when she didn't feed that it caused her pain.

The mention of the pain again was enough to send her over. She began to buck on the bed and scream as if he was torturing her and Dean ran in as Sam backed off putting the cup down "What the hell did you do?" Dean asked going over to the bed now and tried to calm her down by talking quiet "Shh..Trinity its okay..its okay..no one's gonna hurt you. " he promised but she struggled just as fiercely and he got back up at a loss not sure what to do. Dean took the key and started to unlock the chains Sam got his wits back now and then watched in horror as Trinity vaulted off the bed now free and Sam instantly put himself in the middle making sure that Trinity could see him. "STOP. " he said grabbing her arms and as if she was in a trance she stopped and Dean put his hands on his hips "Okay, what the hell was that? First she's out of control and now we're playing Sam says?" he asked confused.
Sam gave him a look for the Sam says joke.  Then sighed "When she goes into these stages she goes deep into herself. She pretty much goes to her safe place. She goes there when she feels like she's about to go over the edge and it stops her from going over. In a way it pulls her back from the brink of insanity." Sam said.
"Okay. So what memory do you think it is?" Dean asked
"I don't know. I've never asked her. But I think its one that has me in it." Sam said looking at Trinity again
"Why do you think it has you in it?" Dean asked
"Because she listens to me. She can still hear me. She does what I tell her to do. Its sorta like you said. Playing Sam says. Only I think she listens to me because whatever memory she chose is one where I'm there too. " Sam explained having figured it out a while ago.

"And all the times that this happens you seem to be the one that gets her out of it. Its like every time she goes loony tunes your the happy pill the makes her pop back to normal." Dean said in the same tone as before.

Sam threw a glare at his brother "Dude seriously? First of all she's NOT crazy or loony tunes as you put it. And second, we should be concentrating on getting her out of her head and back here to reality. " he said then decided he would ignore Dean and any further comments til this was settled.

Sam put a hand On both of Trinity's shoulders and guided her to sit down then sat down by across from her looking her in the eyes he took her hands and tried to prepare himself then said "Show me Trinity. Show me what you see."  he then felt as if he was sucked into her brain.

It was a familiar place. But he didn't recognize it then again it looked as if whatever had been here was bombed or something.

he then Saw Trinity. She was knelt on the concrete staring down and he knelt by her. "Trinity...what happened here?" he asked

"Its gone." she said in a shattered tone.

"What's gone?" Sam asked taking her hands and trying to look her in the eyes.

She wouldn't meet his gaze "Its gone." she said again.

"What's gone? And why is it gone? Trinity look at me. Tell me what's so special about this place. Tell me what happened here and then maybe it'll come back" Sam said trying to understand.

"Can't...can't remember.." she said sadly.

"Try." Sam begged knowing that whatever the memory was it was the only thing that could keep her here. And it was also the only thing that could release her from here.

"I..I think he's suppose to be here too..." Trinity said which didn't make sense to Sam until a younger teenage looking Dean appeared in the distance and Sam looked over at him then back at Trinity "Good. That's good. Who else is here?" he asked.

"Sammy. Sammy's here too." Trinity said and the Sammy part made Sam wanna roll his eyes but then he watched as a younger version of himself also appeared and the clothes is what sparked his memory.
He took her hands "Trinity look at me. Listen to me. Its not gone. Its there. We were 14 years old. Dad was gone for about two weeks and there was this bully that kept picking on this kid with glasses. I stood up to the bully and he ended up picking on me. Remember? And then the afternoon before we left he did something. Tell me what he did Trinity. " Sam said already knowing but he wanted her to remember.

She began to talk then and everything was becoming more clear and it all began to play out in motion as she said "He knew I was your sister. He thought he could intimidate you by using me. He tripped me while we were outside. You saw it. " Sam nodded and watched fascinated as the memory played out. His younger self had seen the jerk trip Trinity on purpose. Sam had never really cared what people did to him at School. But his sister had always been such a little girl right from the start. Sam had always just took it upon himself to protect her.
Trinity continued as the memory played out "I started to cry. I heard you beating him up and I saw the last of it." she said.
"Trinity why is this the memory you revert back to?" he asked not understanding why the bully picking on her would matter so much but then again the memory wasn't over yet. Trinity then looked up and then over at the younger Sam "Its wasn't him. Its the fact that for once in my life I didn't know what you were thinking. You surprised me.  " she said as watched just as Sam watched.

His younger self went back over to Trinity who was curled up holding her ankle and trying very hard to be brave and not cry. Sam could tell from the feel of it that it was sprained. He took one of her arms and put it around his shoulder then helped her stand on her good foot then when he saw how hard it was for her he simply swept her off her feet not caring about how it made him look "Its okay. I know it hurts. Its okay to cry." and once he said that she buried her face in his shoulder and cried and he felt so bad for her that he carried her the whole way to the nurse to get her ankle wrapped.

Sam looked back at Trinity. He had forgotten about that last bit. He remembered the fight. But it wasn't the fight that pulled at her heart strings. It was the part after that where her tough brother carried her. And he almost laughed but instead he said "Trinity. Let me ask you something. Why do you think I carried you to the nurse?" he asked
"Because my ankle was twisted?" she asked and he did laugh then "Well yeah but why did I carry you?" he asked
And she looked at him honestly not knowing. "I really have no idea. Because you felt bad about me tripping?" she asked.
Sam just looked at her "you really don't know do you?" he asked then nodded to himself. Of course she didn't know. He barely said it most of the time. "Trinity your my twin sister. And you we're hurt. Because of me. Because I wasn't looking after you. You were too bad off to walk. And I wasn't about to make you walk. So I picked you up and carried you. Because I love you. Dad always told Dean to look out for us. But you know what? No one had to tell me to look after you. I just knew that it was something I had to do. Not for dad. Or Dean or even for me. I had to do it for you. To protect you. I was never gonna let anything happen to you. I'm sorry I failed." Sam said saddened.

Trinity was now smiling "Well of course you failed. You can't protect me from everything Sam. You couldn't protect me from spraining my ankle. You couldn't protect me when the first boy broke my heart. And you couldn't protect me from my own stupidity. I knew better then to be out at night alone like that. I know what's out there. I just didn't care. I was careless. And that's why I am the way I am now. Its not your fault Sam. Sides. What really counts is that when I sprained my ankle you were there to pick me up. And when that boy broke my heart you were there to help put the pieces back together. And when I was turned into this thing you didn't back down. You didn't give up on me. You took me with you and said we would fight this together and that I'd learn to control it. Don't you see Sam? This was the first time I understood that you were gonna do whatever it takes to protect me." Trinity said teary eyed.

Sam fought his own tears touched by her speech but knew they had to get back. "Get us out of here Trinity." he grinned and she grinned back then closed her eyes and they were now back in the room with Dean and Trinity her eyes no longer looked crazed.

Sam got up to get the cup of blood for her and stopped when he heard her say "By the way I know you did it." he glanced back at her confused now "Did what?" he asked and saw Dean by the door.
"We were 16 and he broke my heart that night the next morning he had a broken nose a busted lip  sprained ribs and wouldn't spill a word about to anybody. Not even the cops. Just thought I'd tell you that I know you did it." she said smugly and didn't see the mile wide grin on Sam's face.
"Actually miss smarty it was me that messed up pretty boys face." Dean raised a brow at her not even the least bit repentant.  However that surprised her and then Sam went over both of them grinning now Sam leaned on Dean saying "Yeah. Compared to what Dean did to his face they barely noticed the damage I did to his ribs."
Trinity's mouth dropped open in shock. Never once had she suspected that it was a team effort.
"I shoulda known." she said then couldn't help but crack a smile and drank the blood calmly then she felt exhausted so she went to take a nap.